Greetings from My IV Tower

Hello Booble Fans,

Last I wrote I was terrified for what today would bring me and so far it's been just fine. It was explained to me that the smaller weekly doses of chemo would be more tolerable than a large dose every three weeks. If there are going to be any side effects, I will notice them within the next couple of days. Dr. B told me to expect some joint pain. 

My day started with my usual morning cuppa and tuning into the talk shows I hate but attempt to watch hoping maybe I'll find one segment of interest. I had no trouble figuring out what I'd wear to my first chemo treatment because yesterday I received an awesome Wonder Woman costume from my sis-in-law Susan; I was so excited that it fit and that I had the perfect red shoes and lipstick to match! What you can't see in the photo way below is that I am in fact wearing a red cape. On one return from the bathroom, I was so stoned on Benadryl, my shmoop was dragging my IV for me and while we walked by the doc's office I said, Look, Doc, I'm flyyyying!! Ah, I crack me up. I love my doctor but I think he needs a super hero lesson because he thought I was dressed as Rambo. What the...?

The chemo process went like this.... Before I left my apartment, I took a big green pill called Cimetidine. Essentially this drug is to protect my stomach from getting upset. Took an invisible cab to the office just like NYC Wonder Woman would do and first thing Nurse Cathy did was take my vitals and then brought Sandy and me to the IV room. I was seated in a pinkish vinyl Barcalounger type chair that Sandy was oddly very fond of. After little success in finding a cooperative vein, I had a heating pad applied to my opposite arm which apparently makes the veins pop out a little more and then we were rolling. The first IV I got was the steroid Dexamethasone which is to help prevent an allergic reaction and nausea. Well, there's really no polite way to convey what occurred next. As the nurse was preparing the next IV of Benadryl, I started squirming in my seat. I was really embarrassed by what I was feeling but after a minute I had to ask, Is it normal that it feels like someone is pricking my privates (I actually was a lot cruder than that) with pins and needles?! She started laughing and said it's "normal" (trust me, it ain't). Was this some sort of cruel joke? I swear it was like someone took a London Plane Tree aka ITCHY BALLS TREE and shoved it into each orifice and swooshed it around like a toilet bowl cleaner! The top of my head was getting hot and prickly, too. Whew. It was pretty short lived but really uncomfortable. Then the nurse said, Soon you're going to feel a swooshing going around in your head. Swooshing? No, that wasn't a swooshing. It felt like some one turned the nitrous oxide dial up to super fly high. I was floating down the bowling lane like The Dude in The Big Lebowski Gutterballs scene. 

After waiting a half hour for this all to kick in, the Paclitexal was injected into my new cocktail.

Itchy Balls

The Dude

Speaking of kicking, another side effect of the Benadryl is wanting to kick your legs off. You get overwhelmed by a restlessness and start kicking hoping your legs'll snap out of it. And then I had to pee really bad. So I'm stoned, I'm kicking, I don't know how I'm going to make it to the loo, but somehow I did twice with the help of the Nurse Cathy and Sandy (forming a bond I never anticipated until I was like 85 years old). In between all of this I slept a lot in the Barcalounger. 

Next thing I knew it was time to leave and although I was told I could go back to work if I wanted to, I thought a new born kitten would be more useful than me so I went home and passed out for three hours, woke up in a big sweat and thought two days has passed. 

The good news is that a) I feel fine now and b) I only need to take the steroids and anti-histamine one more time assuming I have no allergic reaction. If I do ok the first two times, it means I'm safe for the following treatments. As far as how many treatments I will need,  no one knows. The idea once again is to see some of those tumors shrink. If it's successful, then MAYBE I go on some sort of hormone treatment but it's a complicated call because my body may or may not go into menopause and if it appears to but is really not, I would be taking aromatase inhibitors that won't actually be doing anything. It's a lot to digest and we'll just cross that bridge when we get to it. The other reason I might stop is if the neuropathy (tingling in hands and feet) gets bad. So there are a lot of unknowns. Tons of drugs out there, but it's a matter of finding out which one is the right one for me. The proof'll be in the scans to follow.

Next step? I go wig shopping this weekend. I'll be visiting two places, Joseph Paris and Bits and Pieces. I have a few great, compassionate hair dressers in my circle who are more than willing to help and I'm just going to try and have fun with this. 

Thank you so so so so much for the presents, cards, emails, texts, support, encouragement and love you send my way. When I get a little scared I realize so many people have gone through this and as my friend Katia said, it's just a season. At night I watch some funny TV before going to bed, then turn on some mellow tunes and look to Infinity because she makes me feel at peace. 

Love you all,

eLiz.

F U Cancer!

My lunatic Wonder Man who made me laugh all morning. I love you.

Infinity...

Preparing...

I keep thinking of Thursday's chemo treatment and a few things repeatedly come to mind:

• I imagine I'm going to feel as sick as I did when I took too high a dose of Xeloda and the thought terrifies me.
• That being said I keep trying to convince myself to not think about the unknown because maybe it'll be fine. 
• But then I read all of the nasty side effects and I go back to number 1. 
• I keep hearing the dialog from Seinfeld whenGeorge gets set up with a woman who's bald (sorry for quality of video): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o8nfXZukpgY

GEORGE: "You fixed me up with a bald woman."
KRAMER: "Bald?"
GEORGE: "Yeah, that's right."
ELAINE: "Do you see the irony here? You're rejecting somebody because they're bald."
GEORGE: "So?"
ELAINE: "You're bald!"

I love when Elaine throws out the toupee. Ask me, those things should be banned before high-caloric soft drinks.

In preparation for the Taxol.....

1. I've sent away for a free head wrap http://www.goodwishesscarves.org;
2. I sent away for a free bar of Bethesa SPF soap; 
3. I've gotten pre-auth for chemo;
4. Found local lab to get blood drawn day before treatment;
5. I found out insurance will pay for one wig at 100% (I haven't confirmed this in writing.) I hope this is really true b/c as uncomfortable as it makes me, I want to get a real hair wig, and they're quite costly;
6. I lined up three places to look at wigs;
7. I made a list of ten questions for the oncologist;
8. I can't stop noticing that the tips of my fingers are still numb from the Xeloda and wonder how bad the neuropathy will get from the new treatment;
9. A friend recommended I avoid sushi, one of my favorite meals, because of the potential decrease in white blood cell count. Same friend told me to avoid fresh flowers too. Not sure if the latter was related to the blood cell count or the fragrance;
10. I want to be armed with drugs for nausea, pain, constipation as result of pain, sleep, Biotin for mouth sores, ginger for tea;
11. I went to Ricky's looking for a Wonder Woman t-shirt (they no longer sell those cool vintage shirts) to wear to my first day of IV. No tee but I decided I'll wear Wonder Woman red lipstick instead;
12. I'm wondering why I'm still pulling out my stray grays; AND
13. Like when I daydream about winning the lottery and then I suddenly snap out of it and return to reality, I get convinced for a brief moment that this is really all a big mistake.

Tax Season

So, there's good news and bad news.

Results from Thursday's CT scan came in. The most notable finding is the increase in size of (innumerable metastatic) nodules, that is, tumors. To give you an idea of size, the largest nodule measures 3.1 x 2.2 cm, previously 2.7 x 1.9 cm. What does this mean? Findings are consistent with progression of disease.

The measurements above may seem unimpressive however it tells us that the Xeloda isn't doing what we hoped it would--keep the tumors stable or ideally, shrink them. Things are heading in the wrong direction so we must go with plan B. The Xeloda's been tossed in a drawer and next week I'll have my first IV infusion of Paclitaxel, a form of TAXOL®.  Prior to doing this I must first get two Rx's (Tuesday) for antihistamines which will be administered right before I get the IV (Thursday) with the hope of preventing an allergic reaction (e.g. rash, itching, swelling, wheezing, chest pain). The IV is given in my oncologist's office and takes about an hour; supposedly I can return to work afterwards assuming I haven't passed out from the Benadryl. The day before each weekly IV (# of weeks, months, unknown), I must get my blood drawn at a local lab. Patients have to be watched carefully because there's risk of getting a blood disorder, becoming anemic and sigh, so on and so forth. Side effects? Fatigue, nail discoloration, "plumbing issues", neuropathy, vomiting, chemo brain, bone pain, and well, I'll be sporting the GI Jane look pretty soon--hair loss usually occurs within two-four weeks, perfect timing for summer! Gag. Yes, it will grow back, but I already have visions of wig sweats and my penciled in eye brows melting and dripping down my face. This does not bode well for my Wonder Woman image. 

The good news? I got my tax refund this week, which has already been applied to the retail therapy bill I've racked up over the past couple of months. 

I'm trying to find the silver lining in all of this. The way I see it, after having seen Artie Lange at Caroline's last night, I think I can get through this. Artie's been in and out of drug rehabs and mental institutions countless times and yet he's got his own radio show, he's in a relationship, and he's still cracking side splitting jokes to sold out audiences.  If Artie can do that, I think I can laugh my way though this year's tax season.

Stay beautiful,

Me.
PS Click here to watch a great link Sandy shared with me...Note to self, revisit this when I start looking like a cue ball. 

Can Sure Use Some Super Powers Right About Now....

Hi All,

I'm going to TRY and keep this brief as the last thing I want is to draw attention to me (ME!) on the eve of such a horrible tragedy. I've yet to collect my thoughts about what happened in Boston today and there's certainly no way I can express them at this time.

The purpose of my writing was to share good news about others...I'd like to think we can always use some good news.

I shared a wonderful two hours with my friend Michael this weekend. He was in from LA for three short days and I'm so grateful he made time to see me. For those who don't know my fellow Capricorn, he and I met at Estee Lauder back in 2000. Michael was working as a permanent temp (yes, such a thing exists) and was the assistant to our boss, but more importantly, was one of the few things (people) I liked about what I call the best worst job I ever had. (I hated the job, but I love what I took away from the experience.) Michael and I have remained friends ever since I was nearly carried out of that place in a straight jacket (my lipstick applied perfectly, of course) and I lovingly refer to him as one of my favorite people in the world. Michael is one of the most honest, sincere, funny, intelligent, evolved, persevering people I know; when he puts his mind to something, he gets it. Which brings me to why he came to NY...Michael's pregnant! Michael is a single, gay man (quite handsome, too for those who wish to apply) who is adopting a newborn baby scheduled (c-section) to be delivered in May. He came to meet the birth mother who is unable to take on the responsibility of a fourth child. The adoption process is not an easy one but Michael knew if he didn't do it now, it wouldn't happen, so he took every measure necessary to have his dream realized and I just know he will be an unbelievable parent (he fortunately has a lot of family near by to assist him and his soon to be traumatized ShihTzu, Todd). This isn't the reason I'm writing about Michael, buuuuuttt, since I have your attention.........when Michael leaves with the baby, he will need to spend two weeks in NY before he can return to LA. If ANYONE knows of an apartment in which he and baby can crash during this time, would you let me know? I've no room in the Barbie Dreamhouse but if I did, I'd welcome him with open arms...... Michael, I love you and I cannot wait to  see you with a diaper bag and spit on your clothes. 

My second announcement is that Pauletta Brooks, the amazingly thoughtful and talented jeweler I referred to in my last blog entry, is having a trunk show May 1-3 in her Chelsea studio. For those of you who are interested, drop me a line and I'll give you the details. I cannot wait to find the perfect amethyst piece; I plan to attend May 2nd. 

Next, I want to mention that I've opened my blog up to Google advertisers and I hope you don't think I'm selling out! The idea is that I'll have more of a presence on the web and hopefully be able to share my story with those in need of support. In the two weeks I've been doing this, I've earned, get this,  $1.72! Woo hoo! Whatever money I make, I plan to donate to The Gilda Club in memory of my dear friend Joan who passed away two years ago after years of struggling with breast cancer. I miss Joan terribly, everyone who knew her does, and I cannot bring myself to write any more about her than what you're reading now.

Last, I'm going to recommend a great distraction from today's sad news. At 10pm EST on PBS (check your local listing), my friend Kelcey's Wonder Women! documentary is going to air. Back in January, Twin Peeks had the honor and privilege of being featured on the film's website (go back a few entries). I've yet to see the film although it's been screening like crazy (worldwide!) and has been receiving the most positive feedback. If there ever was a time we could use the help of Wonder Woman, it is definitely today. So let's everybody channel those super positive healing powers and send our prayers and positive thoughts to Boston. 

Sorry I couldn't help but talk about myself just a teensy weensy bit. I truly hope you do get to tune in to the movie tonight. 

Meanwhile, thanks for tuning in here.

Wishing everyone a peaceful evening...

Love,

BoobBloggerBelson

My Infinite Lizdom

Hello Boobleites,

Hope everyone's enjoying their break from bread and vices this EastOver season. Spring is upon us and I don't think it could get here fast enough. My shmoop and I are taking a share in a house out east this summer and I can just feel the sun freckling (read: damaging) my face as I write this. It's just another gift for which I have to be thankful. 

While on the topic of being thankful, I had a good doctor's appointment on Thursday. I hadn't had a follow up in a month and my on-call-ogist said my lungs sound OK despite the residual hack I have from the cold I caught a couple of weeks ago. It's a bit reminiscent of my "cancer cough" which is a bit disturbing, but the chest x-ray was fine (e.g. no pneumonia, no evidence of new tumors) and surprisingly, with the exception of the cough, I bounced back rather quickly. The next cat scan of my lungs will take place in mid-April. Stay tuned for more good news.

I've recently stumbled across postings on a few websites that some people taking Xeloda get very weepy. I definitely have found myself getting emotional sometimes when I least expect it. A few months ago on the way to my friend Nicola's baby shower I met up with my friend Kate and when I saw her I started sobbing. I was fine at the shower but when I was saying good-bye to Nicola, I sobbed more. Trust me when I say I love both of these ladies and like most friends I don't see them nearly enough, but I typically don't weep when I see them. I couldn't tell if my tears were a result of my "cancer wounds" still being fresh, if it's the Xeloda, or perhaps I'm just overwhelmed with the abundance of love I have in my life (but maybe once took for granted)? This past Sunday I told my friend Tara about a really sweet gesture someone recently made for me and her response was, Liz, this doesn't surprise me; people love you. I'm tearing up as I write this. 

The gesture? In January I was introduced to this fabulous jewelry designer, Pauletta Brooks. I bought a few of her pieces (no, not all for me!) at a trunk show that took place in her awesome Chelsea loft and subsequently I made a couple more purchases on line. I've been in touch with Pauletta a few times to tell her I get oodles of compliments whenever I wear my geode pendant and that I am now on the market for an amethyst piece from her collection; I read about the stone's amazing healing properties, specifically but hardly limited to the lungs. Lo and behold two days later I get a little package from Pauletta, a woman I've personally met only once. She sent me a blue velvet pouch filled with amethyst stones, which I now carry around with me daily. Of course when I opened the package, the waterworks opened as well.

The hugs, phone calls, emails, stones, stoner cookies(!), songs, a green tambourine.........is there an end to this love because I have an infinite capacity for more! And speaking of infinity, my sister-in-law Harumi, a burgeoning sculptor, blew me away with her recent project, Infinity. Harumi was inspired to make Infinity this year as a tribute to my stepmother, Arlene, who has been dealt a hardcore crappy cancer card (pancreatic has metastasized to several organs), myself and all the other women in the world struggling with cancer. It's with heavy heart that I share Harumi lost her mother to cancer when she was just a teenager and the love and passion she has for wanting to help others shows in this beautiful piece of work.

May I present to you, Infinity...

Some information about Infinity:

Style:                 Female bust sculpture without a base

Title:                  “Infinity”

Medium:             Plaster cast

Color:                 Plaster white             

Size:                  W 4.5” x D 2 3/4” x H 5 3/4” 

Weight:               616g/1.35 lbs.  

About Harumi:

Harumi moved to New York from Tokyo with her husband in 2004.  She studied Life Figure Sculpture at The Art Students League in Manhattan with Jonathan Shahnstarting in 2007.  To understand more about human anatomy and form, she also began drawing live figures at the Spring Studio in SoHo run by Minerva Durham.  She continues to draw live models to get inspirations. 

Harumi studied Environmental Design at Joshibi University of Art and Design in Tokyo, Japan, where she trained herself to feel and read light, shadow and air flow. In that sense, her works can be a part of space wherever they belong or the other way around, where they create space.

Harumi has created a mold for this project which means that it can be duplicated. Currently only three have been made and mine sits proudly on a side table in the Barbie Dreamhouse (my apt). If you are interested in purchasing this beauty (and seeing some of Harumi's other works; I'm a huge fan of her drawings), the cost is $350 a portion of which will be donated to the charity of your choice. Please let me know if you are interested and I will put you in touch with the artist; the turnaround time for the final piece is approximately two months. 

I know I'm probably biased, but I really love this sculpture. I like to think she is looking into the future wondering what life will bring her while at the same time wondering how she will use all of her strength, determination, and support of others to get there.  I'd love to hear your thoughts about Infinity, too.

Well, folks, it's a beautiful day, the sun is shining and I'm inspired to go out and make the best of this day. I hope you will do the same. 

My heartfelt thanks to all who are reading this. 

Much love, 

Elizabeth

  

Much Ado About Everything & Nothing

Hi All,

Been out of touch with a broken computer and then spent a few days in Florida visiting family. I've had so many different things to blog about running through my head so pardon this mismash of stuff.

Arts & Leisure (Occurred February 10th)

I don't how to express my thanks to Katia Floreska who gave a shout out to me at Joe's Pub. Katia is one of the regulars of The Loser's Lounge, one of NYC's best bands. They perform every 6-8 weeks at JP (part of the Public Theater) and on each occassion the band (called the Custard Kings) pays tribute to one or two bands with each of the 20 guest singers doing their own interpretation of one of the featured band's songs. This night happened to be a battle of the bands: James Taylor vs Cat Stevens and there was no doubt in my mind for whom I was cheering. Though I like JT now and then (love "Smiling Face"), I remember listening to my dad's Cat Stevens Greatest Hits 8-track in what we called our music room (it once had a piano which was replaced by an 8-track player). The music absolutely resonated with me and every now and then when I can't sleep, I play his music. Well, Katia and I made eye contact while she was on stage and I about two rows away. After she was introduced she announced something to the effect of, I don't want to embarass this person, but I want to dedicate this next song to my friend Liz Belson. Shit. Embarrassed? Hell no, I was so blown away by this gift. And what followed blew me away even more. Katia killed it!!! Listen for yourself here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=RrJZH_AgQy0

Katia, I love you and happy belated birthday! Peace to YOU, Babe!

Travel (Originally drafted in Fla on March 2nd)

I am sitting in my favorite spot of my family's house, that is, my feet are propped up on an ottoman in front of the pool, looking out at the 16th hole. I just read an article in a local rag about whether or not a woman with breast cancer that metastasized to her lungs and bones would benefit from medical marijuana. Is there really a debate over this? Ok, maybe smoking it isn't the best idea but certainly a brownie as opposed to two or more alternative toxic meds referenced in the article would be ideal, don't you think?  No need to answer, we all know there's a "right" answer.  Somehow this article managed to really piss me off. The woman is 68 years old, has advanced cancer and some doctor is nervous that she might have anxiety from her reaction to the marijuana.  Something's wrong with this picture.

In the meantime, while a bit chilly (Honey, you should take a sweater kind of chilly), taking in a little vitamin D while looking out at palm trees is so relaxing. I do love the change of seasons in NY and I'd never suggest living in a hot climate year round but as I get older I realize I have a need to escape the cold and grey New York I call home.  It all seems so complicated though. One has to keep track of vacation days, consider costs for travel and work around other people's schedules. I was talking to a co-worker the other day and he said he's so excited because he's about to enter his 15th year on the job and now he's entitled to four weeks vacation.  FIFTEEN years at the same job. He then told me how some of the other staff have been working 40 years (!) and they get five weeks vacation. On the one hand, this speaks well about the job, for few people will last 40 years at a job these days. On the other hand, this makes me think, is this what life is about? Busting your butt so that in 15 years you're entitled to what I think is a very reasonable amount of time off to give everyone? I've no idea where I am going with this thought other than it seems there must be a happy balance to work and play (travel) and I haven't really figured out a way to master that yet.

Palm Trees, Sunshine, Green Grass               Fabulous Tree Near Dad's House Makes Me Happy

Style Section 
A major FASHION DON'T as seen at the Mets vs Marlins spring training game at Roger Dean Stadium in Jupiter, FL...A grown woman sporting pig tails with Scuncis and a Mets cap. Need I say more? (Yes, I can be a B!t¢H)

 
Health & Nutrition (Tune in March 16th)

Next Saturday, March 16th @ 5PM, I'll be a guest on the radio show Stirring The Pot on WPPB 88.3FM I'll be joining radio show host and nutritionist Stefanie Sacks with whom I've had the great privilege of consulting and the author of The Cancer Fighting Kitchen, Rebeca Katz, talking about, what else, fighting cancer with a healthy diet and lifestyle!

Through a partnership with Hamptons’ NPR— Peconic Public Broadcasting (WPPB)-- the show airs through Eastern Long Island and Southern CT. You can also catch it via live stream or if you miss the show, check out the podcast). I believe I'm scheduled to come on during the last 10 or 20 minutes of the show.

I also want to share this tidbit of info one of my Cancer Dancer (see old dance recital blog post from 2009) friends Zulma passed on to me. I've yet to try this but plan to purchase one this weekend and will let you know if it offers me any relief:

Anti-Nausea Wristband Offers Sigh of Relief

Last but not least in this section, I want to mention the approval for use of the new drug Kadcyla http://www.cnn.com/2013/02/22/health/breast-cancer-drug  to help treat women with Her2 positive metastatic breast cancer. Thanks to several of you who thought to pass on this information to me. The drug does not treat my type of cancer as I am not Her2 positive, but it will certainly help millions of other women!! Another reason to think positive!

Local News

On February 13th I took my first follow Cat scan with contrast since I began chemo on Christmas Eve 2012. I will spare you the details of that day's awful appointment but I will tell you that I had to have not one, but two of those horrid fart bag drinks; if you saw a mushroom cloud rise above your home that day, it was me passing by.

Anyway, the results of the scan showed no change in size of the tumors. At first I thought this wasn't great news, but the doctor's reaction was good because they didn't get bigger. The idea is to contain the disease, that is, prevent it from spreading and of course if possible, shrink or eliminate the tumors. The fact that symptomatically I am better, that is, my cough is gone, is a good indication that the chemo is working. The next scan will take place in about another month and seeing as even more time will have passed, maybe we'll see more improved results.

In the meantime, my Xeloda schedule is still 2 in the AM and two in the PM for seven days every other week. It definitely is a tolerable dose but I will say I am feeling the side effects as it builds up in my system. My feet are sore and blistered and the nausea persists for a few days after the Xeloda cycle has ended (hence I will try the wristband and continue with the acupuncture). This of course is nothing compared to what other people in treatment endure so I'm not complaining. 

On that note I want to leave you with this video which was passed on to me shortly after my diagnosis. I've yet to watch it without weeping so be warned. For those of you who don't know pop singer Kelly Clarkson (first winner of American Idol), this song held different meaning to her when it was written but I think this is amazing. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ihGCj5mfCk8

FIGHT!!

xxxxEliXabethxxx

The ¢o$t of Cancer

Yesterday I had some time to kill before a dinner and I found myself roaming around Bloomingdale's. My feet were hurting so I went in the shoe department and asked if I could have a pair of little half pads to put in my shoes. Next thing I know I left with a pair of hand made leather and fabric boots from Mexico. I then meandered into my favorite Free People section to see if there were any good sales.  Alas, I left with a pair of black and silver lamé pants. On my way out I detoured through the cosmetics section (for those who don't know it, I'm a cosmetics junkie). I didn't see anything I wanted but a salesperson (who I later called the hooker) lured me in by telling lil' ol' vulnerable me how great I looked but wouldn't I want to sit down and see how he can miraculously brighten my eyes? I obliged and figured, hey, I'll just let him show me a few items so I look good for dinner while I rest my sore feet. The equivalent of a mortgage payment later...

I have to admit that normally I can just as easily persuade myself not to buy something as I could to buy something. But now things are different because you know, I have this card. Not the credit card, the cancer card. With each purchase I found myself saying, Fuck it, why not, life is too short to care, as my conscience was saying, Really, do you need this? You realize chemo doesn't eradicate credit card bills, right?... Well, we all know which side won. There's something to be said for retail therapy and I believe as long as I can admit it, then it's OK. 

Along with retail therapy come other monetary costs for having cancer. There are medical co-pays, switching to organic foods, weekly massages, visits to the acupuncturist, a nutritionist, a healer, taxi cabs to all of these appointments, supplements, specialty books, and it's yet to be determined if I'll visit the Chinese herb specialist. Not everyone makes these choices, but I do because I believe that chemo alone is not going to help me win this fight. 

The biggest price to pay though, and the point of today's entry, is not doing anything (or everything) when you feel there's something wrong with you. From the time I resurfaced on this blog, I've failed to mention how the discovery of the cancer in my lungs happened. Simply put, I had a very persistent cough. Over the course of the year I had had some aches and pains and one result of my hormone levels seemed unusually high. But the levels came down after going off Tamoxiphen and the aches and pains were partially attributed to said medication (according to my last oncologist). This cough though, it wouldn't go away for months, if anything it just got worse. One doctor suggested I had a post-nasal drip and prescribed nasal steroids, which when I used them, made me choke more. I thought my new work environment (basement level of a very old building) was not healthy and reluctantly I had to consider changing jobs. 

Finally in mid-September on a sunny day out in the Hamptons, after months of taking cough serums and allergy medicine, my bubby friend, Dana aka Dana Banana aka Dr. Dana, said to me, Liz, I want you to get a chest X-ray tomorrow and come see me in my office. And so I did. And that X-ray led to a Cat scan which resulted in a visit to the pulmonologist and so on and so forth. If Dana hadn't pushed me to get that X-ray, perhaps at some point I would've gotten one, but really my next thought was to go to an ENT and who knows how much longer and more rounds of antibiotics it would've taken me to get one. Because really, who would've thought I had cancer? Honestly, even when I learned there were tumors all over my lungs, until the chemo helped get rid of the cough, I insisted the cough was due to a nasal issue. 

This isn't to say that if you have a cough you should be freaking out because you have cancer. What I'm trying to get across is, if you have a condition that's not going away, look at all of your options including getting second opinions. In retrospect I wonder why the first doctor didn't send me for a chest X-ray, but perhaps he didn't want to be an alarmist. Or perhaps he just didn't know what he was doing. I don't know and at this point I don't care. I do know now that you have to always consider your entire medical history and you want a doctor who can think out of the box. 

So with that said, I'd like to dedicate this entry to Dana Gail Cohen, my friend since elementary school, whose birthday was yesterday and who has been by my side throughout this whole ordeal. I love you, Dana Banana, and will never forget how you have managed to be both a friend and a doctor to me, a difficult task when you're so close. Thank you, thank you, thank you. 

I leave you with super warm wishes on this snowy day for a great weekend, one during which you enjoy everything you do and the person with whom you're doing it, even if it's just yourself. 

Love, 

Liz

PS Photo credits to my friend Adam whose message about fighting I included in my last entry. I edited the Rocky type so I could really put the message out to the universe!