I paid another visit to the first wig man and boy, did I wig out. I was grateful I'd asked Sandy to accompany me. After my last visit I had a feeling I was not going to be happy and I was going to need some support.
This time I was not left waiting because I called and said I must be seen on time at 2pm. A lot of good it did me: I left that evening at 7:30PM with no wig. What was shown to me was somewhat improved but I still looked like I was married to a Rebbe from Boro Park. And what is sold (and patented) as the most lightweight hairpiece, increased my body temperature by 20 degrees and it felt like someone lined it with wood splinters. Ach... I cried and cried. The stylist and owner were trying to console me by saying things like, We understand you're going through a hard time.... you just cut your hair and now you've lost it, we get it.... blah blah. I told them, I have had my hair all different lengths and cutting it short was not that traumatic. What's upsetting me is that I came expecting to look better than Patch Adams (see below) and instead I look like I'm auditioning for Yentl. When the owner asked Sandy what I was so upset about, Sandy replied, She doesn't like the way she looks, to which the owner said, Well, I'm not a plastic surgeon. Sandy then stood up, and I swear, veins started popping out of his head and like the Hulk, his muscles got SO big he busted out of his clothes, collected all of the toupees in the shop and flung them out on to Madison Avenue! Rugs were flying everywhere, landing on the heads of women, men, and small children... cars were crashing when views were suddenly obstructed by these hairy flying saucers... birds mistook them for their nests and started building homes... it was madness!
The stylist tried about three times to restyle it and, again, there was some improvement, but I knew I would never wear it. In between the styling, Sandy and I decided it was time to set free what was left of my patchy hair and that's when he started buzzing. He actually did it twice each time using tighter clippers. I left without a wig but rather an appointment to come back and try to fix my hairpiece. I've yet to return.
|Hmmm, I think it's time.|
|After Phase 1|
|The Barber Inspecting His Work After Phase 2|
|The Diagonal at Tufts University|
|In other news... I'd been suffering from a neck to toe body rash. Sandy treated me to a head shave and a butt paste. The combo of the latter and a bevy of allergy pills and creams has since healed me.|
|I love this sentiment. Thank you, Dr. Banana, for all of your love and support.|
|The Hope bag above came with this wish card. Whoever wrote this should know his or her wish has been fulfilled.|
|I received this Tibetan Good Luck bracelet in the mail from a friend I met in the 5th grade and I've been wearing it daily. Just the fact that Jill is still in my life after all of these years means my luck has not run out.|
Since last week, I did go back to the second wig place, Bitz n' Pieces to have my long hair wig adjusted for size. I've yet to wear it. I'm embracing the freedom of being me. Dana asked me if I thought I'd adjust to the baldness so well and I answered that as soon as Sandy was finished with the final buzzing I stopped for a moment and said, Well, that wasn't so bad, it didn't kill me. I've even come up with a top ten list of pros to being bald:
- No bad hair days;
- Shave, I mean, save on shampoo, conditioner, hair products and haircuts;
- No clogged drains;
- I can live out my punk rock fantasy;
- Baldness is an accessory that costs little or close to nothing;
- It shows off my earrings;
- A bald head serves as a sort of weather vane; from the back I can tell from which direction the wind is blowing;
- Strangers are extra nice to me;
- It forces me to say, life goes on......and
- I'm always buzzed!!
Have a great Memorial Day Weekend, everyone! Enjoying being out east with some of my favorite peeps. Will report back soon.
Lots of love,