Preparing...

I keep thinking of Thursday's chemo treatment and a few things repeatedly come to mind:

• I imagine I'm going to feel as sick as I did when I took too high a dose of Xeloda and the thought terrifies me.
• That being said I keep trying to convince myself to not think about the unknown because maybe it'll be fine. 
• But then I read all of the nasty side effects and I go back to number 1. 
• I keep hearing the dialog from Seinfeld whenGeorge gets set up with a woman who's bald (sorry for quality of video): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o8nfXZukpgY

GEORGE: "You fixed me up with a bald woman."
KRAMER: "Bald?"
GEORGE: "Yeah, that's right."
ELAINE: "Do you see the irony here? You're rejecting somebody because they're bald."
GEORGE: "So?"
ELAINE: "You're bald!"

I love when Elaine throws out the toupee. Ask me, those things should be banned before high-caloric soft drinks.

In preparation for the Taxol.....

1. I've sent away for a free head wrap http://www.goodwishesscarves.org;
2. I sent away for a free bar of Bethesa SPF soap; 
3. I've gotten pre-auth for chemo;
4. Found local lab to get blood drawn day before treatment;
5. I found out insurance will pay for one wig at 100% (I haven't confirmed this in writing.) I hope this is really true b/c as uncomfortable as it makes me, I want to get a real hair wig, and they're quite costly;
6. I lined up three places to look at wigs;
7. I made a list of ten questions for the oncologist;
8. I can't stop noticing that the tips of my fingers are still numb from the Xeloda and wonder how bad the neuropathy will get from the new treatment;
9. A friend recommended I avoid sushi, one of my favorite meals, because of the potential decrease in white blood cell count. Same friend told me to avoid fresh flowers too. Not sure if the latter was related to the blood cell count or the fragrance;
10. I want to be armed with drugs for nausea, pain, constipation as result of pain, sleep, Biotin for mouth sores, ginger for tea;
11. I went to Ricky's looking for a Wonder Woman t-shirt (they no longer sell those cool vintage shirts) to wear to my first day of IV. No tee but I decided I'll wear Wonder Woman red lipstick instead;
12. I'm wondering why I'm still pulling out my stray grays; AND
13. Like when I daydream about winning the lottery and then I suddenly snap out of it and return to reality, I get convinced for a brief moment that this is really all a big mistake.