I'm still slightly tortured over my last visit with Dr. Osborne. Not b/c he did anything wrong. But before I met him, I was determined to do a mastectomy b/c based on what informal research I did, I thought the treated area would be somewhat deformed after doing lumpectomy/radiation. He tells me that I should heal fine from the radiation and to really consider conserving the breast; the results of radiation will be a lot less visible than that of recon surgery. I told him I've heard and read horror stories (relatively speaking) about radiation. He tells me the conditions I explain are rare . I am nervous due to the extreme sensitivity of my skin. I burn and scar easily, get heat rash, blister in the sun (a la Violent Femmes) and my reaction to certain foods, chemicals, extreme temperatures all get manifested in my skin. I've called to make appts w/both a reconstructive surgeon and radiologist just to get their opinions and assure myself that I've done my due diligence. Clearly there are so many things things that cannot be predicted, but I'd like to know that I've thoroughly investigated all of my options. I feel that I'm in the best of hands, but I hope--as most women do-- that there are no ugly scars to remind me of this time in life. Of course health comes first, but based on the assumption that I will be just fine (which I know I will), I can't help but hear the immortal words of Fernando, "Dahling, you look mahvelous..."
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